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The head wanted to attempt reason and rationalize what was ging on and my crotch just wanted the physical gratification. I had no one that I dare confide these thoughts to. The word i****t had entered my lexicon and the dictionary definition stated quite clealy that it was a bad thing to pursue such feelings. A benign flirtation continued for a few years. The marriage was getting worse and they argued a lot. Mom often fled their bedroom and found refuge in my room. I held her in my arms as she cried and wanted nothing more than to be alone with me. Was this some sort of declaration of love, I thought as I held her close and felt her breasts flatten against my chest. The scent of her body made me dizzy; I inhaled deeply. I wanted to take away all of her saness and make her smile. We lay in bed together. I starting stroking her face, tracing lines with the tip of my finger. I grew bolder and let my finger stray down to the long slender throar. Mom lay here passively, her sad pale. So we'll talk about it, you and I, and then we'll make the decision together, the way we always have." But—" Shut up," she said. We were sitting on the sofa, she leaned over and kissed me firmly. "Now. To start, it was both of us who made the choices with Estrada. You said let him take you, and I wouldn't even listen, so if what happened was anybody's fault it was mine. And you bailed me out, and you did it by killing three men which I know has been eating you away, so now let's start talking sensibly."I shook my head in awe at this wonderful woman I'd married."Go back to basics, for openers," she continued. "You say Spook tells you nobody seems to know—that you're actually Jack Heyward, that is. Richard told you, based on his knowledge of Estrada, that it seemed likely to him, too. Right?" Well ... right, I guess," I said."You guess? Or it's what they said?" It's what they said," I admitted."OK, then. Now, they could be wrong. Spook was, about Estrada last time, wasn't he?" Yeah," I.
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